The Kitties & I ...

wanted to wish you ..

a purrfectly

lovely

lazy

laid back

weekend! ;-}

~ To Summer ~

May it be a PRETTY one!

Staying In the Pretty (Petals) ...

Focusing On the Pretty

Sweet Greetings! I have (sincerely) not meant to be absent from my blog for so long now. In many ways, my life is still a bit upside-down, and I've allowed the day-to-day *stuff* to distract me from some of the things I dearly love, my blog being one of them. Being overly focused on the negative in my world has worn me down. And certainly hasn't solved any of life's countless and on-going 'issues' .. issues we all face.

As I was boo-hooing this past week to my long-time Naturopath (a kind and wise man who is also a very dear and loving friend), I was gently reminded that we must go through life's 'rough waters' at times. And that this doesn't necessarily mean we are off-track somehow or doing something 'wrong'. It just simply is. And he reminded me that life's 'storms' always serve a purpose. There is always a lesson. Always a gift. And that we couldn't fully appreciate life's calm waters or the safety of a beautiful shore were it not for the occasional (and sometimes not-so-occasional) rough waves and stormy seas. My soul already knew what he was telling me. Yet, hearing his words seemed to have created the shift I was so desperately needing. Sometimes the soul simply needs gentle re-assurance. Such a gift was this moment. He helped me to regain my breath. He helped me to button up and secure my life-preserver, my heart. I left refreshed. Renewed. Yes, I soon after re-entered my little 'storm', yet with a new view. I have, since then, determined a few of my 'life lessons'. Hard lessons. And once I began to re-focus on life's 'gifts', I could see there were many. Including these lessons. Abundant and beautiful gifts life has given me. I am so blessed. Re-focusing on the positive has clearly brought a renewed sense of peace, even though the trials continue. The clouds are parting. I am determined to look for the light.

With so much energy being directed towards life's negatives, my inspiration and creativity have not been flowing, in fact have been next to nill. I MISS THEM. Something happened the other day (following my visit with Dr. Shawn) that interestingly, re-sparked my desire to 'create', and this will explain the photo that you see above. Forcing myself to clean up, clean out, pare down, I was emptying an old dresser so I could haul it off to Goodwill. This dresser was an $8 yard sale find. I bought it on a whim several years ago for storage. It was ugly. But sturdy. And I really needed the storage. I had no other plan for it .. just storage. It somehow ended up in my dining room, jam-packed full, covered up with seasonal vintage lace throws ever since I drug it home. I've lately been weeding through my 'junque' and desired to put another piece in place of this old dresser. Finally emptied, no desire to keep it, it was out the door and half-way into my truck on Friday afternoon when something caught my eye. There on the bottom corner, near one of the rear legs, was a small area where the white paint had chipped away. I noticed a very vintage, very cool shade of aqua showing through. Oh! Something told me to 'wait'! I slid the dresser back down. I looked at it in a different light. Re-evaluated my decision to give up on this poor old piece, and came inside to get my handy-dandy spray stripper. Away I went. Lost in the moment. I liked what surfaced, and resolved to give new life to this old piece.

Much happened for me in those moments .. I hadn't worked with any furniture for MONTHS, this was so much fun again! I so LOVE this chippy, shabby, layer-upon-layer-of-life look. I can't explain why, but it just comforts me. And inspires me. Though not yet 'finished', this dresser has become quite symbolic for me .. like so many things in my life of late that I have been more than ready and willing to give up on .. I have stopped to re-evaluate. To re-focus. To shift my view, if you will. I appreciated, in those moments, that I am not one to easily give up. Not one to disregard something of seemingly insignificant value. And, thankfully, I am beginning to see the pretty again. No, not perfect pretty. But I'm good with that. There is, afterall, little perfection in this life. Despite the trials and tests, there is still plenty of pretty to be found. Chippy at times. Shabby at others. Oh-so-layered and multi-colored. But that's what keeps it charming. And unique. And these roses .. even though they, too, are upside-down, the prettiness is still very evident. And so sweet smelling. It was a profound afternoon. Deeply personal. And very enlightening in a strange (and shabby :) way.

So, there's my little sneak peek. I have vowed to finish this project. This dresser is not going to be going away. It's going to be beautiful. There is a beautiful vintage aqua vignette just waiting to happen at my house! I will post it one day soon!

I leave you now with 3 simple thoughts ~

~ Fear not the storms

~ Don't give up on inspiration

~ Free up your energy

by focusing on the pretty!

Promising not to be gone so long ~

Wishing you much happiness, whatever you may be doing this weekend!

peace.

it does not mean to be in a place

where there is no noise, trouble

or hard work.

it means to be in the midst

of those things and still

be calm in your heart.

(unknown)

Tagged!

Sweet Mandy has tagged me .. to share a few things about myself that you might not know. I've always felt compelled to maintain a measure of 'mystique' ;) but there are a few things that I'm happy to share! My life is not extraordinarily interesting, but I hope you'll enjoy getting to know me a bit better. Here goes ~

1~ I'm a huge believer in Aromatherapy. Lavender for a headache. Bergamot & Patchouli when I'm sad. Bergamot blended with Clary Sage ~ mmmmm ~ pure wonderful! Geranium to calm the mind. Rose for joy, happiness & hope. Rose is by far my favorite oil. Did you know that pure rose oil contains the highest healing frequency on the planet?! (Except for prayer, that is.) I keep several little spritzer bottles around the house (and one in my car) filled with pure water and the essence of rose. Heavenly! Instant calm. My 'perfume' of choice.

2~ I can't sleep with a light on. Or the door shut. Or in the car. Or if my teeth aren't brushed. Or with my feet covered up. (Maybe there's an essential oil for this!)

3~ There is not a single stick of new furniture in my home. (With the exception of an OfficeMax desk & chair who's days are numbered :) Purely antique, vintage, and found treasures. I dearly love each piece and wouldn't have it any other way. I simply couldn't imagine not putting my feet up on my sweet (old) couch! Nor could the kitties!

4~ j jill is my favorite line of clothing ~ the only line that fits me perfectly off~the~rack. Some of my favorite finds at the thrifts are faded, worn~in, j jill anything. I treasure my little collection!

5~ I can't be rushed. Not happening. Don't even try. And I'm not so good at multi~tasking, either. But I have amazing focus. One thing at a time please. If you talk to me with the tv on, I won't hear you. One thing at a time.

6~ My parents divorced when I was 27. It's no easier on grown children than it is on little children. I was devastated. I still am, even though they have both passed on. It changed everything.

7~ I wore braces for two years and a retainer for two years. The gap between my two front teeth is still there. I'm keeping it.

8~ I can't curl my tongue. Didn't get the gene. Darn.

9~ But I can belch on command. Yeah, I know ... real 'sweet'! There went my image .. .

10~ I was not given a middle name. I was traumatized by this (??!) so I gave one to myself, but never told my parents. Hope. Kimberly Hope. It suits me. To this day, my signature has an H in the middle. I was supposed to be a boy .. oops! My name was going to be Colt. Whew! I've always believed Kim Novak was my namesake ... my Dad adored her. (That was quite a few all rolled into one, sorry :)

11~ My first kiss was in the seventh grade. At the movies. It was sweet.

12~ I've lived with a vintage 13' diving pool just off my back porch for 18 years now. I can't swim. But it's a great foot~soak!

13~ Biggest pet peeves .. junk mail, litter and daytime t.v. (no, I don't watch Oprah) . ..

14~ I take very long showers. This is where I decompress. The water helps me problem~solve. And it brings me inspiration.

15~ I was involved in competitive shooting when I was young. My father was an amazing rifleman, passionate about teaching young ones to respect firearms, and he was my coach. He helped me to learn to focus. I won. A lot. I still have all my medals. I often out-scored all the boys on the team, which tickled my Dad. He nicknamed me 'Dead-Eye'. I couldn't pick up a gun today if my life depended on it. Go figure.

16~ During my high school years, the summers were spent working at a local plant that manufactured rubber ear tags for livestock. It was a boring job, to say the least. And tedious. My friend, Kathy, and I spent an entire summer working in the shipping department .. counting out the tags by 50's, packaging, boxing, labeling .. counting, packaging, boxing, labeling . . ..... 1-50, 1-50, 1-50, all day, every day, eight hours a day . ... We would get sooooo bored, we got goofy-bored. We yearned to be free of this boring drudgery (but it paid well, so we endured). Kathy & I schemed together and plotted our escape. We started, on occasion, slipping little S.O.S. notes into the packages that were to be mailed to other countries, far more interesting places in the world, begging to be rescued from our boredom, from our oh~so~unglamorous jobs in this factory in this little town in the middle of nowhere, Wyoming. Mum was the word. Our supervisor never knew. (I hope!) I can only imagine what the folks on the receiving end of those silly little notes must've thought! Alas, no one came. No one called. We were not 'rescued'. We endured. 1-50, 1-50 ... Life went on. The summers came and went. We survived. The factory (Y-Tex) is still there today, alive and doing well. I miss sweet Kathy, we have lost touch.

17~ Last December, mostly at the urging of my lovely (and brilliant) daughter, but also because I knew deep~down that I needed to, I signed a six~month contract with a Personal Fitness Trainer. I chose not to blog about this, I didn't know how things would go.
'Real' exercise has not been a part of my life for some 30 years. In spite of knowing how vital it is .. I was ignoring it. Both of my parents had heart attacks and subsequent (numerous) heart surgeries when they were my age. I am 50. I am not going there. I won't go there. Holding their hands through the last days of their lives left an impression I cannot forget. I have been diligent (and focused) in my efforts, working out 3 and sometimes 4 times per week. I haven't missed a single session. More on this later, but I can tell you with certainty, it has been a very positive and life~changing experience. In many ways. For one, there are 18 inches less of me now. Food has become my friend for the first time EVER. Tofu, tuna, and egg whites are my candy. Candy was never the problem. Starving myself was the problem. One's body needs simply to know that it will be nourished and cared for .. only then can it respond .. and let go. A lesson it's taken me far too long to get. Don't know how much weight I've 'lost', I threw my scales away. It's just a number. What I have 'gained' though has been immeasurable. Planks, squats, curls, throw-downs, crunches .. bring them on! I feel strong. I've pushed through much more than pain these last five months. I've accomplished things I never imagined possible for myself. It's mental. I'm proud. My new mantra .. "I CAN DO IT"! And I will. Wanna arm~wrestle!! ;)

18~ I've been seriously blocked lately as to what to blog about. Completely, totally, utterly blocked. Frozen. Shut down. Numb. HUGE funk. Photo~shooting every day .. but nothing looks quite right to me. I can't see the pretty right now. Thank You, Mandy, for tagging me. It felt good to open up blogger today with a reason. Quite honestly, and because I don't know the words for it .. LIFE is RAINING. All around me. It's a hard rain. It's not sprinkling, or tinkling, or misting. It's pouring. It's hailing. It's dumping. Cats & Dogs Dumping. Not a pretty rain. Not a sweet Springtime afternoon rain. I'm soaked. I'm drenched.

I can't seem to come up with anything even remotely pretty right now. Or profound. Or creative. The extent of my 'creativity' of late has been to work with a designer of monuments .. in creating the final detail of my Dad's life ~ his headstone. I have been so remiss with this task. Painfully remiss, and I cannot explain why, it is beyond me. It has taken me more than three years since his death to come to terms with this difficult task. The details have been so complicated. He trusted me to handle the details. This is not the venue. Tough stuff.

I have always wished for my blog to be a happy place. A peaceful, pretty place. A place to come for vintage sweetness. But I've lived enough life to know that it's not always 100% sweet. Life is real. I am human. The only way through .. is through. (See #17 .. "I'm strong". :) Postings may be sparse until the storm clears. My heart knows the peace will return. And the pretty.

19~ Admitting I'm troubled is hard.

Mandy listed 6 things. I'm rambling. But let's just go for an even 20, shall we?! ..

20~ I have one child. A daughter. She's the LOVE of my life. The greatest gift I've ever received. Beyond words beautiful. You will find her picture in Webster's .. under precious. And beautiful.



This is one of my favorite photos of us. We were in Yellowstone Park, Summer 1986. We were enroute to my 10~year high school reunion. She is the age now that I was then. Oh, how this plays tricks with my head. We've both changed a bit. :) She has grown up and become a uniquely~skilled & highly sought after aesthetician, thriving and making a wonderful living doing what she loves to do. She loved playing with make~up from the time she was two! I miss those days. She will always and forever be 'my little girl'. (Thankfully, she has had no hesitation in cleaning up those brows of mine :)
Long before Google was Google, she used to tell me that she loved me "a google", because that was the biggest number she could think of! (??!!) So now, every time I Google something, which is often, I can hear her in my heart telling me how much she loves me. :)
And then one day on Sesame Street she learned the meaning of the word infinity. She changed her mind about the google, and decided that she loved me "infinity".
"I Love You Infinity, Mom". I loved her infinity, too.
Still do. We said it to each other often. So sweet. :)
Though she lives only an hour away, we don't see each other nearly often enough. Life .. you know. But the mere sound of her voice still melts my heart. And the touch of her hand can carry me for miles. And miles. And miles and miles .. infinite miles.
And by the way ~ her middle name is FAITH ~ bestowed upon her at birth.

Thanks for letting me share.

I now tag EVERYONE!

I love you all and couldn't possibly pick just a few!

Be gentle with yourself.

You are a child of the Universe ..

no less than the trees

and the stars.

In the noisy confusion of life,

keep peace in your soul.